Self, what’s up?

Funny how you feed your empty stomach and feel full till throat but there is a vanity inside you, challenging you always because you couldn’t, you tried and failed numerous times now.
You don’t even know if that’s emptiness or it is actually vacuum.
Because no force in the world seems to fill in that space.
It’s magnetic there ,
You fail in front of your self.
What do they talk about self cure ? 

Funny how you know the solution but it never seems to apply to you.
Even funnier how you keep filling gaps and pathetically ignore your self
in order to maintain that little part of pride you think you have.

And when you feel like giving up, you try placing yourself in the hands of others,
Who promise to love you, like sunlight promises the sunflower that it’ll stay.
You know, how it looks there.
You push yourself into love, mistakenly thinking that as a solution.
Because you are your own onus, no other one is.

And when damage happens, You hear your nerves crumpling but you, the outer part of you, you probably dislike by now, does not allow it to come out. 
Because, you want to be able to act according to everything else.
You have bridges and paths, all measured.
You are a slave to your own mindset and you say, world is unfair.

You are a master of your own body and you say day went bad.

And most Ironically,
You are the answer to your own problem but you hardly fit in.
Anymore.

Vacuum it is, vanity has grown up.
Or maybe it’s pretending to because after all that’s what you do, and everyone else does.

-Ayrisha Sepaha.

Ayrisha Sepaha

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All Statements in this blog are Comical, No Narcissists were harmed during writing. :P

”Narcissism could be a religion but then who will wait light years to finally see who wins the leader’s chair”

A Narcissistic person is a type of invention you don’t intend to do.
It happens, and when it happens, it shows.
Psychology terms this person having a disorder but trust me you might not wanna argue about it to a real Narcissist.
You gotta be unarmed.
No don’t get me wrong, they aren’t those threatening bunch of bullies but they are actually.
However, what they do is all in the mind and all about the mind.
These are the people who play Monarchy with a democracy rule book.
These are the people who believe, ‘If I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen.”
You think you will still prove your point?
Go sleep buddy.
I insist.

So let’s not get too cynical about them and try to understand their problem which is touching,
The problem is, being right is the only option because wrong, wait what is that?
Poor kind,
You see.

Inoffensively,
Moving on !
You think you are telling them about an incident happened with you,
You are meticulously speaking Until you are about to spit out the climax with your best (come on, laugh now) expressions, you notice them saying, how beautiful the sky looks today.
Who do you wanna kill?
Them? Yourself? Or the entire human race?

Being a vast area for a research, I can pen down a number of undeniable facts, funny as they might look, don’t laugh Until the narcissist around you does.
Because if they aren’t laughing they have opinions and trust me again that’s bad.

So,
A- There is a huge difference between their RED and your RED and it will break your heart to know this that both are exactly same.

B- Your jokes are jokes. However, their jokes are Funny!

C- Confront  a Narcissist and you’ll be served with the same questions they never answered for you.

D- When they study fill in the blanks, they fill in the whole damn paragraph again.

No seriously,
They can actually teach a teacher how to teach.
Agreement is not a word they would like much.

And eventually an advice,
Don’t let it lead to the Argument, you’ll lose yourself winning that.

A day where the worst which can happen is suicidal thoughts,
Wake up,
Argumentative conversation with a Narcissistic is surely gonna make you reprimand yourself.
Because when you talk to them,
You don’t even realise and in 5 minutes all your experiences and theories you thought you’d be proud of, are being hammered, ouch!
They are being termed fallacious,
Yet the argument gives you a hope that you might win, which you will NEVER.
They are speaking and in 15 minutes, your whole life has been a lie.
You are doubting your God damn existence.

Well, warned you!

And even if on some exceptionally auspicious days like, 30th February or 32nd of June
Even if, they agree they are wrong for a thing,
Trust me again please, they’ll say it like you would want to apologise.

Nevertheless, as much as I hate to admit this,
I like them
And I am sure many of us do
These weirdly interesting personalities, even though add the pickles to the salad but they add a big part of taste.

Ayrisha Sepaha